adventures in eyebrow maintenance

It seems there's yet another item to add to the ever-growing list of Ways in Which I Fail at Womanhood. I fail at growing nails (sadly, I've already blogged about that), I've got cracked and calloused hands that could rival a dock worker's (again, blogged about it with bonus photographic evidence), and I really don't know what to do with make-up beyond eyeliner and mascara.

Womanhood Fail.

One other item to add to this (admittedly silly and trivial) list has to do with my eyebrows. Seemingly, the eyebrows should be one part of our appearance that we don't need to give much attention. At least, that's what I used to think. Twelve years ago, I had my eyebrows waxed for the very first time. I remember it well, because I was hugely pregnant with JAM, and I had gone with some friends from work to a local salon. We all got waxed by a man who would become my favorite hairstylist in the entire world (but who would, years later, become so good and move to such a foofy place that I could no longer afford his magic).

When it was my turn in the chair, he used the little brush to get the wilderness that I called eyebrows into a general shape. I admitted to occasionally plucking them, but with little to no understanding of what I was doing. He clucked a bit (this guy does not mince words, I tell ya), but then he said a few words that suddenly felt like the biggest compliment ever. "You have great eyebrows. Beautiful, natural shape and arch." He assured me that with a little shaping, they were going to be gorgeous.

Now remember, I was about 17 months pregnant at this point, about 150 pounds heavier than usual, so any even mildly kind words thrown my way would have made my heart sing. I was confident that I would leave that salon 1000% more attractive than I entered. I had beautiful eyebrows, after all.

Yes, I did see a remarkable difference when he did whatever voodoo he does so well. However he determined the right "shape," it was magical. For years, I tried to keep it up, going to see him whenever I could. I cheated on him a couple times, some with fine outcomes, others that left me looking perpetually surprised.

Then it all stopped. I had three kids, no income, and no time. I took to grabbing the tweezers myself and attempting to find that elusive beautiful shape. It was lost. I think I got a little pluck-happy. Then my eyebrow hairs must have gotten pissed and decided to take revenge on me by popping out in places farther and farther away from their original spots. So, I plucked more.

Thus began the saga of the disappearing eyebrows. I would pluck, my bathroom sink would be dotted with little brown hairs, and the space above my eyes would become larger than ever.

I'm tired of looking surprised. So it begins now. The Great Eyebrow Grow Out. I've vowed to leave the tweezers in the drawer (except when it comes to the stray chin hairs that I have my Spanish grandmother to thank for). I'm willing to look like a shaggy, unkempt woman (more than usual) for as long as it takes to get all the eyebrow hairs accounted for. Once they're all in place, then it's back to the professionals.

Maybe, just maybe, that beautiful shape can be found again. We shall see.

I'm going the brave blogger route right now, and sharing photographic documentation for week one. Remember, we're focusing on the shaggy eyebrows, not the deep forehead wrinkles, crow's feet, or old lady freckles here.

This is tame, compared to what I predict they will look like in two weeks' time. I'm not sure how long this fabulous little experiment will take, but I'll happily put aside all personal shame and continue to publicly share the progress pics.


Happy to think about something so trivial for now,

spring break is lovely, but can someone do something about the stinky trees?

You know what happens when work gets crazy busy? Well, blogging is notably what does not happen, as you can see by my 17 day bloggy absence. But that's all about to change, because this is a blessed week, officially referred to as "Spring Break, baby!" around these parts.

Sadly, there are no tropical locales in which we'll be spending this week, and realistically, I'll probably be working harder than ever between the school to do list and my freelancing to do list, along with the piled up home tasks that are screaming out for me to address them while I'm home for nine consecutive days.

Sigh.

But, it's all about balance, right? Since I've never been too skilled in that area, it's always a challenge, but I'm trying to mark off times of the day to do work-work, house-work, and writing-work, and then other times to just hang with Red and Pudge, who are home with me since my school is their school, too. (Poor JAM, who doesn't share a spring break with anyone. I believe he'll be my assistant at school for at least one day during his week!) 

Today, the weather continued its eerily-warm trend, with the temperatures into the 70s, maybe even hitting 80. It's bizarre, and quite honestly, I'm finding that even as I'm enjoying the sensation of dressing for summer in March, I can't shake that feeling of impending doom in the pit of my stomach in reaction to 80 DEGREE TEMPERATURES IN MARCH.

Ahem.

Anyway. Pudge, Red, and I brought lunch down to a playground down the road. Even Red understood the significance of the act, for as we strolled she commented, "Wow. We haven't gone to this playground since like, last summer!" Yeah, sweetie. Life certainly took a different course after the summer, that's for sure.

Well, it was to be all lovely and fun and fabulous, for the kids were in cheerful moods, happy to be the other's playmate. The sun was shining. It was relatively quiet in the 'hood, with the county schools still in session. Just perfect.

Except for those damn trees.

Look, aren't they beautiful? For the first couple of weeks every spring, all the streets in our neighborhood suddenly look alive, as many trees burst into bloom literally overnight. The clumps of little white flowers bring a sudden lightness after a dark, dark winter. It's quite a wondrous sight.

As long as your windows are closed, that is.

Pop over to google and type in "tree that " and you will likely see one of the drop down suggestions-- "tree that smells like sperm"-- and that is what I'm talking about folks. Follow that google search, and you'll also see that I'm among many (about 406,000) folks who are trying to figure out why their neighborhood suddenly smells... seedy... or who are complaining about the stench. Among my favorite findings from that search is from The Frisky, where the author does not mince words in the least.

Honestly, it's overwhelming. The other day, as we got off the bus the odor hit us all like a wall; so much so, that even the kids were complaining, "What is that terrible smell?!"

Today, that stench made me want to wash out my nostrils. It made me gag, ever-so-slightly, and as you sit outside, the smell comes and goes in waves.

(Jeez, I'm not even trying to be salacious in my word choices. It's just too easy...)

If you're ever involved in neighborhood planning, please listen to me and avoid planting Bradford Pear trees at all costs. Yes, they're beautiful, but so are many other types of trees that don't leave you feeling dirty in your nasal passages when you go outdoors.

Since there's no good way to segue from talking about semen-smelling-trees to returning the topic to one's delightful children playing outdoors, let's just suffice it to say that our time at the playground was enjoyed by all. (Except for my nostrils, that is.) 

Instead of sinking my toes into some warm sand on a sunny beach, I luxuriated in the rubber mulch of the playground. The kids were thrilled to be on the swings, and they quickly remembered their favorite theme of play at this particular playground as the climber once again became a pirate ship with them at the helm. Lunch was consumed happily, and entertainment was provided by a curious bee who kept hovering nearby. (And who was the subject of my latest google searching, not dirty this time, yielding some fun info about the Eastern carpenter bee that I've added to my wealth of buggy knowledge!)

Best yet, there wasn't much trouble when I declared it time to depart. The silly brother and sister combo, only 18 months apart in age, walked ahead of me, chatting and giggling as they are wont to do. I grabbed the camera just in time to document this moment in time, when all was good in their world, enjoying a Spring Break day together.

Betting you're happy this blog isn't coming to you in smell-o-vision,

evidence that Dawn & L.A. make for an odd, odd combination

First off, let's take a moment to wish a happy birthday to one of the most beloved children's authors of all times, Dr. Seuss. Today, 108 years ago, Theodor Geisel was born, and after a successful career in other fields, he became known for his distinctive illustrations and rhyming schemes that involved wacky, made-up words instantly loved by children. Thank you, Dr. Seuss!

So, on this day, as we Read Across America, watch PBS KIDS' newest programming based on a Dr. Seuss iconic character, read my favorite Seuss book The Lorax, or head to the theater for the movie release of The Lorax, we'll be keeping Dr. Seuss in mind.

You know, because I've done nothing but blab all about it, that I recently went out to Los Angeles to preview the movie, hang with some super cool parenting bloggers, and participate in roundtable interviews with some of the film's stars. Yeah, it was incredible.

But there were some highlights of the trip that I have yet to bring to bloggy light. I can't say that they're highbrow thoughts in the least, but they are some things that will stick in my memory. Sadly, some of these memories cannot be illustrated with a photograph either because I didn't have the balls to take a picture in the moment or because of the stupid mistake I made of deleting some pics from my memory card.

Here, in no particular order, are some memories/ experiences of note/ oddities observed by an average East Coast mama dropped into a foreign culture, a sort of Connecticut Yankee in an odd updated King Arthur's court.

• Before I even left Baltimore, I experienced my first L.A. moment when I spied two of my flight-mates. They prompted this airport-wifi-enabled Facebook status: "My people-watching session begins with a bang when a 40-something woman, clearly a CA kind of gal, sits nearby with her ~8 year old daughter. Both have on the same amount of eyeliner."  I didn't even mention the animal print pants, the loose/messy bun atop her head, and the adult-like mannerisms that totally freaked me out. I had to move my seat in the airport so that I would stop staring at them. This was one of those inopportune moments for photography.

• Though I may feel odd about folks waiting on me, I could seriously get used to room service. Here would be a great spot to show you the fabulous lunch I ordered upon settling in to my freaking beautiful room at the Four Seasons, all laid out on a white tableclothed tray, with The Help cued up on the gigantic flat screen across from the bed. In related news, I ate heaven in pork form, as apple-smoked bacon that was in-CRED-ible.

• I now have the constant urge to wear my fluffy Lorax mustache everywhere, and it began in L.A. I wanted to simply don it while waiting in the airport heading home, just to see what would happen. Truth be told, I was wearing it while writing the first few paragraphs of this post. 

• The Four Seasons Los Angeles must employ some super secret, top notch mattress engineers because that bed is the most comfortable thing I've ever slept on. No aching back in the morning is an almost unheard of experience in my regular IKEA-bed-life, and that cloud of a Four Seasons bed was the reason. After leaving that Brad Pitt of beds, I was forced to return to my Brad Garrett version. It's just not the same.

• My experiences with airplanes can be counted on fewer fingers than I'm in total possession of, so I'm easily amused with the view from the sky. Not sure if this is the closest I'll ever get to The Rockies, but it was cool enough that I shed my anxiety about being viewed as a dork and sat with my camera poised at my little window.

•  I'm also just as easily amused with silent actors in costume, for I cheesed it up in the photo ops with The Lorax himself. I believe I may have pet him, as if he were the actual fictional character. I also made a point of stroking the Truffula Trees you see in the background. I was apparently without shame.

• And, I also decided that when presented with a once in a lifetime opportunity, I can shove my nerves down far enough to go for broke. That is how I'm now 2 for 2 on having a "moment" with one of the actors at the junkets I've been honored to attend. Last year, it was the kiss (on the cheek, don't you worry!) from Russell Brand that turned my face tomato-red, and this year it was the hug I'll always treasure from Betty White. I start the story here, but I didn't go into too much detail about the minutes after the hug, when our group was finished with interviews and I turned into a weepy mess. Yup, I couldn't stop crying, and whenever someone said in surprise, "Are you crying?!" it only made matters worse. It was Betty White. BETTY WHITE, people! The laughs I've experienced throughout my life because of a line she's delivered are impossible to tally. She's a genius when it comes to comic timing and delivery. I'd love to have just an ounce of her comedic talent, and I went for broke when I asked her if I could have a hug. My tears were very much called for.

Betty White and me. And me. And me. (You see what happens when Picnik and silliness collide?)

• And finally, there is apparently a magic in the tap waters of Los Angeles. For when I awoke on the morning of the junket-- forever to be known as The Day Betty White Hugged Little Ol' Me-- I was greeted in the mirror by this strange, faux-hawked, spectacled animal.

 

Since I have no shame, as I mentioned before, this picture was immediately put on Facebook.

Thinking that this appearance would never be allowed on the Universal Studios lot, I tried my best to gussy up. The best that I could muster was this.

My feeble attempt at striking a pose.

After three days of living it up, I was back on a plane, in Boarding Group A, no less. (They must have heard that I was hugged by Betty White and saw to it that I board with the Important People.) It only took a day or so for me to realize I should stop looking for an iPad on a desk somewhere in my house on which I could order food that would be delivered to my door. Coming back to reality can be fairly harsh in cases such as these. Instead of sitting two chairs away from Ed Helms or Danny DeVito or Betty White (did I mention she was there?), I was once again seated in front of eighteen preschoolers looking up to me at story time. Strangely enough, they didn't look that much younger than Zac Efron had a couple days earlier.

So there you have it, the very last bit that I'll talk about L.A. I've been insufferable, I know, but really, this is one of those things that I'm going to want to remember someday, and now I have the documentation to show that I was talking about hugging a Golden Girl way back in 2012.

I don't know if another opportunity like this will present itself again, so I'm content to bask in the glory of this year's trip for a little while more. But I do promise to quit blogging about it, rest assured! Well, there may be photos of the kids in their bright orange shirts after we go see The Lorax in the theater together this weekend, but other than that, I do believe my work here is done.


Starstruck and in love with Betty White,

 

the story behind the story of The Lorax

Okay, okay. I'm almost done talking about my incredible twice-in-a-lifetime (just so far??) opportunity to fly to L.A. for a parenting blogger junket. It's been a couple weeks since I got to see The Lorax and interview some of the stars (Danny DeVito and Betty White! holy cow! Ed Helms and Rob Riggle!), and I'm looking forward to taking my family to see it again when it releases this weekend.

Beyond the incredible Hollywood experience, for this trip, at the heart of all of it was one of my very favorite pieces of children's literature. For that reason, the two posts that I loved writing the most revolved around the transformation of the story from the page to film. Over on 5 Minutes for Books, we have a regular feature called "Books on Screen" just for this topic, and you can read my part one from last week here-- Books on Screen: Dr. Seuss' The Lorax and today's part two-- Books on Screen: More on Dr. Seuss' The Lorax.

I talk a bit in today's post about the interviews with the producer, director, and screenwriters of the film, and how they see the "message" of the film. Since Audrey Geisel, Dr. Seuss' widow, was an executive producer on the film, she had final say over everything-- story expansion, new characters, script, design, everything. I also share a quote from her that I read in the production packet Universal gave us bloggers, in which she states of the movie, "I think Ted would be quite proud."

Well, that wasn't the only gem that I read in the production packet. I can't help but share with you this rather longish quote from the packet, because if you love the book The Lorax as much as I do, then I know you'll appreciate the back story.

I did know that Ted Geisel wasn't always known as Dr. Seuss, for before writing children's books, he was an advertising artist and political cartoonist. The production packet quoted an essay he published in 1960, explaining the allure of writing for children:

"Children's reading and children's thinking are the rock-bottom base upon which this country will rise. Or not rise. In these days of tension and confusion, writers are beginning to realize that books for children have a greater potential for good or evil than any other form of literature on Earth."

Beautiful, right?!

I loved that quote, and this next part is too good to not share. Without further ado, read all about how The Lorax came to be:

"In September 1970, hoping to alleviate her husband's writer's block and channel his frustration at the overconsumption he found in his community, Audrey Geisel suggested that they take a trip to East Africa. It was on this trip, after watching a herd of elephants walk across the African mountains of the Serengeti, that he found the inspiration to write THE LORAX. Seuss wrote 90 percent of the book that afternoon on the only piece of paper he had within reach, a laundry list.

Seuss' writing is inextricably linked to his artwork, and the trees of the Serengeti inspried the book's silk-tufted Truffula Trees. For the first time in his books, Seuss shifted the color palette in THE LORAX from primary colors to a look that was mauve, plum, purple, and even sage green. Seuss attributed this change in color to encouragement from his wife, and as a tribute to her inspiration, he dedicated THE LORAX to Audrey and her two daughters, Lark and Lea."

Chills, people. Chills.

Now, there's one additional piece that I can't not address. The Lorax movie is a big budget, big studio, big-name production, and as such, it's getting BIG TIME advertising. And product connections. It's basically everywhere. As a result, it's getting a whole lot of flack about the inherent message against overconsumption and the linkage to everything from the NEA to Mazda to IHOP. I have to admit that I have very mixed feelings about this. I see the obvious contradictions, clearly. But, I also have a realistic view on how things work with big movies, and this is how advertising works. Perhaps it's a bit of a cop-out to sit on both sides of the fence on this one, but I'm not sure that one side is absolutely right, for I do see both perspectives.

The best that I can take away from it all is the small scale. I know that Red, my five year old daughter, has become more interested recently in "being green," due in large part to the efforts of a teacher at our school who has worked closely with the kindergarten class in the process of getting our school declared a "Green School" by an organization that just happens to be slipping my mind right now. She has become fastidious about turning off unnecessary lights and being sure to recycle everything possible. The most recent times we've read The Lorax together, she seems to be understanding more and more about the story's message than ever before. Surely, watching the film depiction will only serve to strengthen her growing concern about the importance of these matters. That's as far as the movie experience will go for us, and I see it only in a positive light in this small scale.

Either way, whether or not you choose to see the new movie, I hope you share in my belief that Dr. Seuss created a timeless and lasting story that is both entertaining and thought-provoking in The Lorax. And as we celebrate the fabulous Dr. Seuss this week on my little piece of the web, I thank him with all my heart for doing so.


Always in awe of Seuss,

NEA and Read Across America, grab a book and join in!

Every March 2, the National Education Association (NEA) celebrates the joy of reading on Dr. Seuss' birthday, and the Cat in the Hat serves as the honorary spokescat of sorts. His image will always instantly bring to mind the silly rhymes and unmistakeable illustrative style of Dr. Seuss.

It all began back in 1997, when some folks at the NEA came up with the idea to create a day for the celebration of reading. Who better to honor with this holiday than Theodor Seuss Geisel, the beloved children's author whose books have entertained children all over the entire world? The first "Read Across America" day was celebrated on March 2, 1998, which just happened to be during the first year that I taught preschool!

Over the years since, I've celebrated this day with preschool classes and with my own children. Back in 2009, after bloggily declaring The Lorax as my favorite of all Dr. Seuss books, I shared my thoughts on another Dr. Seuss book that I love, though it does differ from his other works. In 2010, Red and I tried our hands at making a paper Cat in the Hat hat of our own (don't judge my lack-of-craftiness skills), and her gigantic smile perfectly depicts how much we love books in our family. Last year, I interviewed each child about why he or she loves reading, and their responses made me smile then, and now.

This year, we'll all be in school on March 2, and thankfully for all three kids and me, reading is definitely valued in our respective classrooms. I'll be sharing stories with my preschool class, as always, and I think we'll have to fit in at least one Dr. Seuss story to stay in the spirit of the day. Red, Pudge, and JAM will all spend time on Friday, like every day, hearing stories read aloud, and reading and looking at books independently.

I cannot imagine a life without reading for pleasure, for myself and for my children. I'm happy to place an even brighter spotlight on the joy of reading on March 2, and I encourage everyone to don those red and white striped hats and join the Cat, Things 1 and 2, the Lorax, the Once-ler, and even Marvin K. Mooney, along with all the other unforgettable characters in a day of reading dedicated to the memory of Dr. Seuss.

For activity ideas, head over to Seussville.com's Read Across America page!


Usually with a book in hand,

MTE reviews: The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!

It's day two of Dr. Seuss week, as I count down the days until the 108th birthday of the brilliant Theodor Seuss Geisel. As a mom and a preschool teacher, I can attest to the joy that Dr. Seuss's books bring to children's lives. Yesterday, I shamelessly promoted some pieces I wrote about the upcoming The Lorax movie, and there will be more to come about the movie before it opens on Friday.

In the meantime, though, there's more Dr. Seuss fun to be had every day over on the incomparable PBS KIDS. Featuring the instantly recognizable voice of Martin Short as the iconic red-and-white-striped hat wearing feline, The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That! has been on the air since September 2010 and has been a hit since the beginning. The emphasis with this show is on inquiry and exploration, as a young boy and girl, Nick and Sally, go, go, go, go on adventures with the lovable and curious Cat in the Hat.

I appreciate the basic concept of this show, for these are very important skills for young children to develop, and as an early childhood educator, they also form the basis of the constructivist curriculum with which I work every day. As a parent, I allow a certain amount of television in my children's lives, and I'm happy when they enjoy programming that encourages them to think about the world around them. The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That! is exactly that type of show.

In celebration of Dr. Seuss' 108th birthday on Friday, March 2, PBS stations across the nation will be airing a The Cat-in-the-Hat-a-Thon, a two-hour marathon of The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!. This marathon will feature two previously aired episodes in addition to two brand new ones, and you should hop over to check your own local listings to find out the exact times.

I was recently sent a screener of the two brand new episodes-- "Seasons - Spring and Summer/ Seasons - Fall and Winter" and "When I Grow Up/ Doing Things Differently." Red (5) and Pudge (4) were my test audience, and as with other episodes of The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That!, they giggled and sang along the entire time. I have to say that of the four segments, the overwhelming favorite was "When I Grow Up," but if I tell you why, it'll give away the surprise ending! (Okay, I'm pretty sure you, the adult reading this, will be able to figure out the ending early on, so let me say that Red has a little bit of a fascination with the platypus, making this episode very, very appealing!)

Are you looking for a way to celebrate (the proclaimed-by-me) Dr. Seuss week like me and my crew? Tune in to PBS KIDS on Friday, March 2nd for the marathon of fun, curiosity-encouraging episodes of The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That! Feel free to sing a round of Happy Birthday to Dr. Seuss himself after the marathon is finished!

**Disclosure: I was provided a complimentary screener DVD featuring the two new episodes of The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That! All opinions expressed here are my own.




Always ready to go, go, go, go on an adventure,

happy 108, Dr. Seuss!

Happy Monday of Dr. Seuss week, folks! Yup, I'm declaring this week the perfect time to devote five consecutive days to celebrating the works of Theodor Seuss Geisel. Friday, March 2, will mark the 108th anniversary of his birth, and there is honestly so much going on all around now that is keeping his memory and spirit alive.

Each day this week, I'll share another fun tidbit about Dr. Seuss's books that I adore, and of course, I'll give you my thoughts about some of the new media that's being produced based on Seuss' classics. Though he's no longer with us, it's clear that the beauty of his legacy will never go away.

An easy way to start off the week is to send you in the direction of three posts I've already written about the movie The Lorax, releasing on Friday. I had the incredible opportunity to attend a parenting blogger event in which we watched the movie and even interviewed some of the "talent" involved in the film. (Listen to me sounding all LA, huh?) I really did love the movie, and that's not just the staying-at-the-Four-Seasons, getting-hugged-by-Betty-White part of the experience talking.

Wondering about how the classic book stands up in the film translation? Head over to my 5 Minutes for Books post Books on Screen: Dr. Seuss' The Lorax. 

Curious about how Ed Helms and Rob Riggle played off each other in our group interview? Yeah, they're really freaking funny, as I attest to in my 5 Minutes for Mom post Ed Helms and Rob Riggle Deliver Big Laughs in The Lorax.

Bet you could never guess what Danny DeVito likes to tweet about. And, in case you haven't heard, Betty White made me cry. Read all about it in my 5 Minutes for Mom piece Danny DeVito and Betty White, Perfectly Suited for The Lorax.

I promise you there will be more than just shameless self-promotion this week. I learned some new things about Dr. Seuss from the production notes we were given, as well as during our interview with the screenwriters of The Lorax. There are other fun things coming up for you parents of little ones, and I want to make sure you're prepared to celebrate Dr. Seuss week along with me!


Time for some Seussian smiles this week,