what's your definition of 'free'?

So I heard someone talking about blogs the other day, and a comment was made, something along the lines of, "I don't know much about blogs. I just don't have that much free time." That (unintentionally?) judgmental comment got me thinking about this thing called blog, the choices I make and what I consider 'free time.'

I'm the mom of three kids. I get one off to school each morning and then I spend the next 7 hours alternately changing diapers, wiping faces, making meals and snacks, breastfeeding (another form of 'making meals') , throwing in a load of laundry, reading stories, cleaning up playdough, vacuuming, coloring pictures, holding/rocking/putting children down for naps, and every once in a while taking 17 seconds to myself to go to the bathroom. (Usually with company.) When the time comes each afternoon, we pick up the big kid from the bus stop, and the second part of the day begins- the whirlwind that is snacks, homework, dinner, cleanup, baths, books, bedtimes. That's obviously just a fraction of the normal day to day tasks and experiences of my life.

To illustrate the point, when I started this post, a mere two paragraphs ago, both kids were asleep in their respective beds, yet as I type these very words, the baby is perched on my lap after two unsuccessful bids to get him back to sleep. The point is, I don't consider my days to be chockful of 'free time' either. Yet, here I am in the world of blog.

When I think about why I have chosen to create a blog, I can think of many logical reasons- it's a great way to connect with people in today's busy busy busy world, as in, don't have time to chat with me? Check out my blog to keep updated with our wacky lives. Also, it's amazing to 'meet' new people through blogs, people who read mine and the MANY that I try to read on a regular basis. It's a condoned version of voyeurism, in a way. I love to read, memoirs have always been one of my favorite genres, and the blog as an art form quite often falls into that category.

To be honest, though, it all comes down to this. Since I was a child there were really only three things that I wanted to 'be.' A teacher, a mom, and a writer. I taught preschool for ten years, became a mom during that time, suspended teaching for now to stay home with our youngest children, and in this informal way through blogging, I have been able to fulfill my writing ambitions for now. In my mind, I've been 'blogging' my entire life, from my silly childhood diaries filled with stories of my joys (I remember writing about my 6th grade class trip to an amusement park- one of the first times I felt truly part of a group of friends) and tragedies (such as the horrible entry about having to move once again and give away our beloved cat Gigi to friends of my parents whom I despised), to my adolescent journals, which consisted of page after page of the requisite drama of teenage life. In college, I tried my hand at writing short stories, but quickly realized that my thing really just was documenting my own life and musings in writing, not creating fictional ones. I like storytelling. I like retelling a funny or sad or shocking experience of my own in a way that makes the listener experience it for himself.

Rather than pursue fictional stories, I nabbed a spot on my (very small) college's newspaper staff, and "My Thoughts Exactly" was born as a weekly column. From what I remember, my columns were simply stories, or rants or calls to my adoring public to share in my thoughts about whatever was going on that week. (When I refer to my adoring public, I mean my roommate and my then-boyfriend, now-husband, of course.) When I sit down to create a blog post nowadays, it's really no different than what I did 12 years ago for MTE 1.0, except that when I click 'publish post,' I don't have to run it by an editor first. (My former editor sometimes reads these very words today, although I don't know if she does it with a red pencil in her hand...)

Do I have the 'free time' to do this a couple times a week? No. Do I choose to make this a priority in my life- whether I'm writing for a few minutes in the afternoon while babies nap, or late in the night when everyone slumbers- absolutely. Some people go bowling, others work in their gardens, others still stand around their officemates' cubicles and chat. This is my thing. And I am grateful for it.