confessions of a stay-at-home mom

Or, at least this stay-at-home mama, perhaps I should say. I have no desire to march onto the apparent battlefield of the working vs. SAH moms, so let me preface this by saying that I've been on both sides of that game, even in three different positions! I worked full-time until JAM was in first grade, I worked 20 hours/week when Red was a baby, and then once Pudge came around, I jumped into the world of being at home and earning nada. It was a bit of a transition, and one that I blogged through, back when my silly little place on the web was still in its infancy.

So, I've been there and done that in a variety of different configurations, at different points in our family's development. And here's what I've learned from my experiences: I like this best, this whole staying-at-home gig, this snuggling with my babies and our books before nap, this introducing them to the world around them through project work, this being there for JAM before and after school to help with the challenges that each time brings, this keeping up with the endless laundry throughout the week (and even being able to take the time to hang it on the line and save some energy at the same time!), this prepping dinners each night for my family and sitting down to occasional, actually good meals, this managing my family's daily life in a way that utilizes my skills-- as an organizer, a teacher, a home-maker. Is that even okay to say in 2009? I like to make my home just the way that it needs to be to be just right for my family.

There's a part of me that wonders if I'm just being lazy. Yes, it's often quite relaxing to be at home. Today I lounged out in the beautiful sunshine with the kids, eating our lunches in a play tent on the lawn and doing some work with our Bug Project. I even chatted with a great friend on the phone for a bit! These are things that just wouldn't be possible if I was working again, so maybe I'm just being selfish. But, I also had to dole out five consecutive time-outs to one not-to-be-named three year old whose stubbornness at clean up time is... impressive. I changed three squishy poopy diapers, including one that got a hand dipped in it. (Yuck.) I plungered one amazingly disgusting, it-will-never-look-like-this-again-because-when-you-poop-you're-ALWAYS-going-to-flush toilet. (Yuck times infinity.) During naptime, I got to take part in a very, very cool conference call with an author that will be posted as a podcast on 5M4B (I'll be posting details- you know that!), which is like work, except that it is WAY FUN and doesn't pay any bills. I read out loud for approximately an hour total by the end of the day. I cleaned three bedrooms, vacuumed the upstairs level, and folded two loads of laundry. I prepped four breakfasts, four lunches and a mildly-pleasant dinner for five. I cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes approximately 27 times. (Okay, maybe it was closer to three.)

Maybe I need to toss the lazy train of thought to the wayside. I'm definitely working, there's no doubt about that. I just wish it came with even a meager paycheck. Again, this is in NO WAY a judgment on anyone else-- different people have different needs, choices, desires, etc etc etc. All I'm saying is this-- even with the constant money worries, I still feel like I'm doing the job that is simply just right for me, and honestly- for my kids, right now. When our life travels down a different path in the coming years, perhaps my staying-at-home, full-time homemaker days will come to an end. But honestly, I just don't want to think about that right now, because this life, right now just as it is, is my favorite of all the configurations I've lived through as a mom. This fits just right.


The happy homemaker,