an attitude of gratitude is in order

It's gotta just be human nature to recognize the recurring themes of one's own inner thoughts, right? I often wonder if other people think about their feelings as much as I do... perhaps I'm simply too obsessive? Eh, who am I kidding? Of course I'm obsessive in my thinking habits, and it's just a matter of fact that my emotions are a huge factor in my life. I've really gotta get those things tamed one of these days. Anyway, I do have a point here, even if it feels like this post is circling the drain right about now.

Today a couple of things that have been on my mind all converged in one moment's thought-- literally like that cartoon light bulb went off and it all seemed clear for one bright second or two. Then it got a little dull again, so I'm hoping that if I write through it and have a record of these thoughts, then it will at least stay semi-bright in my mind. Okay, so a while back I read and reviewed a book about searching for the happiest places in the world-- The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. I had been wanting to read it for a while, again mostly because I'm often thinking about the way I experience my own happiness. I found it interesting and surprising in some ways, but mostly somewhat logical, with some applications in my own life about embracing happiness for myself. That's point one, and the next logical point would be my admission-filled post of a few months ago about my ever-increasing anger troubles. I've been really trying hard to be a better mom and wife, and it's no dirty little secret that I've returned to seeking the benefits of an SSRI medication (that's a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, for those of you not as well versed in mental health pharmaceuticals). Things are still iffy around the last week of the month, if you get my drift, but I'm trying. So that was point two.

Point three comes in with a book that I'm reading now, I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy! by Aaron Cooper and Eric Keitel. I'm not finished, and I am reading this to review on 5M4B, but the basic premise is that in parents' appropriate desire for the children to experience a happy life, their efforts are often debilitating and counterproductive to that end. It's making a lot of sense to me, and I look forward to pulling my thoughts all together for the review, but I got only a few sentences in to my latest chapter today when that light bulb went off. Here's what I was reading, in a chapter entitled Impart Gratitude:

Gratitude research has yielded some astonishing results. Studies have found that when people regularly recorded in a personal journal the things they felt grateful for, not only were they happier, but they took better care of their health.

Pretty darn obvious, right?? But, I'll be the first to admit that it's a heckuva lot easier for me to dwell on the frustrations of life-- big and small, central to my own family and in reference to society or the world at large-- than it is to also be grateful for all that my life has to offer. It's easier to get frustrated at messes in my house than to be thankful that I have a house, and that it's warm in the winter and keeps me safe and secure. My intention isn't to get all Thanksgivingish right now, and I honestly feel a little daft in admitting that these simple thoughts had such an impact on me. But wait, there's one more point in this story.

Just the other day, I read on a friend's blog about a tattoo that she had gotten-- a word that had great meaning for her, embrace. She linked back to a post that she had written about the significance of that word for her, and I truly loved the idea. I always fear that I'm such a copier, so I didn't immediately start following in her footsteps, but I did start throwing words around in my head that I thought would make my own top 5 list. I wasn't very sold on any particular word, and I was soon distracted by yet another poopy diaper (not on me, of course) or screaming child, so that train of thought soon left the station. BUT... it made a return appearance when my light bulb went off today.

Gratitude.

That has to be my word. A big part of my journey through the valley of overwhelming emotions has to include a focus on gratitude. It undoubtedly will have a positive affect on my ability to experience and recognize happiness, and it will surely influence my children's emotional development as well. So this is it-- I need to make it a point to be conscious of the elements of my life that I am grateful for.

• I am grateful for my lovely husband who never ceases to feel love for me, even when I struggle to find loveable things about myself.
• I am grateful for my children's strong-willedness... sounds strange, right? As difficult as it can be to work through now, my gut tells me that it will serve them well later in life.
• I am grateful for my mobility. Having an intense fear of driving doesn't make for the most convenient of situations, but I'm thankful that we live in a place where I can access much of what is needed just by using my own two feet and a stroller, as well as for my ability to do so, even if it is slow going uphill in the heat.
• I am grateful for Skype, which enables my parents to see their grandchildren when their inconsiderate daughter had the audacity to make a home hours and hours away.
• I am grateful for said parents and the strengths that they imparted to me, along with a neverending supply of love and support.
• I am grateful for the luxury of being able to spend time sorting through my thoughts on my beloved silly little blog.
  

That is in no way a complete list, but some of the things that popped into my head in the moment. It may seem trite or a bit too Pollyannaish at times, but I'm making it a personal goal to focus more regularly on gratitude.


Feeling grateful if anyone got all the way down to this point,