That may just be it, but who knows. (I long for the days when I was *SO* sure of everything in the world... ah, the golden all-knowing time of adolescence...) It's not so much that I've been down and troubled, ala James Taylor, it's more that I've been unsure of what I've wanted to write here or how much personal crapola I've wanted to share. I'm aware of my very modest number of readers (and I'm aware that just because one clicks the "follow" button, actual reading of the blog isn't necessarily happening... I'm guilty of that myself), but even I have come to a point where the letters TMI actually apply, which is a relatively new experience for me, what with my usual wide parameters of comfort. There are some personal things going on that I'm thinking should be off-limits to all but my closest friends (no offense meant to any loyal readers who may be out there, except of course, to my crazy stalker in-law).
Added to the mix is my most recent attempt to write about frustration with my least favorite four letter combo in the world. While I feel that I have a legitimate perspective in my role as a person living with the effects of ADHD in the household, I found myself in the middle of a post beginning to wonder if I had the right to publicly say the things that I wanted to say. I may be one of the people cleaning up the messes of the aftermath of emotions gone awry, but I'm not the one actually having the emotional overloads, and it's not my difficulty with self-control that's the topic of the post. While Red and Pudge's fits/outbursts/conflicts/other-daily-occurrences can simply be chalked up to the fact that they're at the oh-so-lovely ages of 2 and 3, there's probably not the same kind of shaking head and wry smiling happening on the other side of the Internets if I write about the regular challenges we experience with JAM. I believe I'm coming to the decision that his right to some privacy about his most personal difficulties outweighs my right to vent about my parenting frustrations.
With these issues on the official do-not-blog list, added to my wish to make this a more positive place, the inevitable result seems to have been a nonexistent presence in blogland. I enjoy the guffaws. I adore proclaiming my love for NPR. I feel completely at home sharing in the 5M4B book lovers community. BUT, I don't want that to be the extent of my little space on the web. My goal from the beginning has been to simply be able to write what I was thinking about- good, bad, and ugly. When that becomes more challenging, I'm not sure about the solution. But when life gives me a few moments to contemplate it, I'll be here.
Just call out my name,
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