Tuesday, June 15, 2010

what a mess

That's how I feel about a whole lot right now.  Just a mess.  Before I get all melodramatic, let me reassure you that in reality, things are simply overwhelming right now (at least to me), and whenever my lovely order is disturbed, my mind has a seriously difficult time keeping it all together.

So, I posted about the mess that is the crappy copper piping in our house back on the day when we should have all been cheerful and celebrating hubby's birthday.  Well, in the days since, we've had two plumbers come out to assess the damage and provide estimates on how much we'll have to go into debt to simply gut the place.  It's time to rip out every last inch of copper piping in the house and start all over with CPVC.  (Look at me using appropriate acronyms, even if I don't know what they mean...)  The flooring in the dining room will have to be replaced, as well, and while we're taking out a loan, why not do some of the other big projects that have been on the long-term to do list?  All of that translates to a home living environment that will be complete chaos for who knows how long.

The thought of the disorder to come makes my heart race, and not in a good way.  The finished projects will be freaking fantastic, but the getting there part is what has me hyperventilating.  It's going to be a long summer, methinks.

Add to that some worry about family members and health issues, and my mind is simply ready to shut down.  Apparently I'm just not that strong a person, because I'm finding myself wanting to check out and just withdraw into a world of reading books, writing reviews, and focusing on anything that I can control, I guess.  Blogging is a great outlet, but there are too many details that I don't want to necessarily publicize, so it's not like I can come on here and vent my worries or fears or discontent.

And then, just yesterday, I received an email that made me gasp.  It's been formally announced that the SV Moms Group, the blogging publisher for 13 area group blogs, including my dear DC Metro Moms, will be closing.  Unfortunately, there's a lot of speculation as to what led to this seemingly abrupt decision, and I'm just confused and saddened.  My heart soared when I was accepted as a contributor just about 9 months ago, and I do believe that I squealed when my first post appeared back in October.  This outlet provided structure and credibility for me, at least in my mind, and I was honored to be featured among the hugely talented other writers.  Especially since we just attended the DC Metro Moms Brand/Blogger Event just a little over a week ago, I'm still a little in shock. 

There's my mess- most definitely insignificant in light of the much, much more serious issues that we could be dealing with on a personal level, but my mess nonetheless.  Much uncertainty and disorder, which are arguably my two most undesired states of being.

Trying to stay on top of some things,