free-range tweeting

Free-Range Kids has become more than just another book on my shelf (or another book loaned out to friends, as the case may be). It has really affected our family, most specifically the experiences of our soon-to-be nine year old, lovingly referred to as JAM around here. First it began with letting him go to one of our neighborhood playgrounds by himself-- he wore his watch, I sharpied the time he needed to leave on the back of his hand, and lo and behold, he came back in one piece. That became a bit of a habit throughout the first few weeks of summer break, although he usually didn't stick around there for long if there weren't any other kids playing. He met some kids he didn't know before, and he had more opportunities to practice those oh-so-important social skills that don't always come so easily to kids with ADHD.

And then we took a giant leap as it were and let him start taking the Metrobus to the part of our town where he's attending camp during the day. As of today, he's ridden to camp independently 6 times (after the first day of us going with him to drop off papers and refamiliarize him with the route), and even once to get home after a friend signed him out early when he wasn't feeling so well. He's a champ-- my child who has always been more than a bit anxious, worrying about the 'what-ifs' of the world (I have NO idea where he got that from...), gets on the bus each morning as nonchalantly as if he's been a commuter his whole life. Touches the card to the sensor and plops down in a seat in the blink of an eye. No big deal.

I asked him to describe how the whole bus-riding experience has made him feel, and here's what he had to say:

"I'm feeling very grown-up riding the bus, and it's really fun. What makes me feel grown up is that I know where to pull the cord, and it's really easy to me. Every day so far from the second day to today, I've had the same driver, so he knows when to stop for me even before I pull the cord. I feel happy doing this, and it's hard, easy and fun at the same time. What's hard is that I have to pay attention to know when to pull the cord. What's easy about it is that I get on, use my Smartrip card, sit down and a few stops later a camp counselor gets on the bus. What's fun about it is that I get to be by myself. I would describe the time that I have to wait before camp starts as quiet time and relaxing and I get to read and of course, I get to sign more time off on my summer reading challenge. I'm feeling more grown-up and responsible."

Can't beat that, huh? I've been reflecting on this so much lately, and I really feel so proud of him for taking this step. I know that he's safe, and I know that if he stopped paying attention and missed his stop that the next stop is just down the road. I feel confident that even if he got into a situation where he felt a bit flustered, there are adults around that could offer assistance. We have learned that a regular routine with a sequence of things to do always helps him, since attention to detail doesn't come naturally. So, we sat down together and wrote out a sequential list of the things he needed to do after he got on the bus-- when to pull the cord to signal he wanted to get off, to make a call to me saying that he arrived at the community center, to turn the phone off and stash it in his backpack, and to choose a place to hang out with his book until it was time to sign himself in to camp. I wrote those agreed upon steps on a sticky note and put it in his bag where he would keep his bus card. After he looked at it on the first morning, I don't think he pulled it out of his bag again on any of the other days. It's simply become another routine, which he lives and breathes by, so he's comfortable and confident.

And I'm a proud mama.

Now, if any of you out there reading this are interested in learning more about the Free-Range Kids approach that is outlined in this book, please join me (@mteblogmama) and 5 Minutes for Books (@5M4B) on Twitter on Wednesday evening at 10 pm (Eastern time). To join in the conversation, just include the hashtag #freerangekids in your message and you can use an application like tweetchat to follow along. Oh, and it's important to mention that it won't just be me on there tweeting away about what I think of all this, the author, Lenore Skenazy will be joining us. So here's your opportunity to tweet (or twitterverse? twitterchat?) with a real live author who has graced just about every talk show and news program there is to describe her "revolutionary" ideas-- ideas that I personally think are a breath of fresh air in an over-protective society of fearful parents.

So, you, me, 5M4B, Lenore Skenazy, and Twitter-- Wednesday, 7/15, 10 pm Eastern, hashtag #freerangekids. What more could a book-loving mama need?


Clearly excited for tomorrow,