my thoughts exactly, old school style, number five

Here it is, the final installment of this bloggy feature, putting my twenty year old self on display for blog reading consumption. Odd thing this is- looking back at oneself through one's own words. Also, it's good for more than a fair bit of laughter, too.

Today's column first appeared in Elmira College's The Octagon on Tuesday, December 5, 1995, at the height of final exam season. Oh, the pressures we felt back in the day.

Break's over, so welcome back to the real world, or at least our version of it. I truly hope everyone had an enjoyable week, and took advantage of the time off from work that we all had... yeah right! Lately, I've just been so unmotivated to do anything, and this is really not the opportune time for this condition to come about. Finals week approaches, and everyone seems to have stress written all over their faces. This year I am adopting a new attitude toward this blessed week- I consciously refuse to get stressed out and act as if this were the biggest, most influencing factor in the future of my life.

Every time those wonderful 24 hour quiet hours go into effect, my brain seems to start to pulsage, and I have a non-stop headache until I get home. Not this year. Nope, not me. I mean let's think about this. Exams are only part of the semester grade (although some teachers make them too big a part), and as long as I worked hard neough all term, then I shouldn't sweat it too much, right? Okay, what if I didn't work as hard as I should have all term, and now I really have to count on my final to pick my grade up. Oh boy, that's an interesting point. Then I guess it all comes down to not getting the best grade. Now's the time that I really regret sleeping in some mornings, huh?

What it all comes down to is simple enough to me. First of all we as students are only human, so if we did not pay attention all term, it doesn't seem very likely that we'll ace the exam. But it also does not mean that there is no hope. Second of all, what in God's name is the point of stressing yourself out so much with worry and regret, when all that comes of it is a gigantic headache and incredible irritability. C'mon, you could get that from taking hormones for God's sake. Take it from me, I am queen of self-inflicted stress, but at least I can admit it. For these next two weeks, I make this self-proclamation: I will not, in any form whatsoever, view my exams and grades as all-powerful and completely indicative of my future career, happiness, or life's worth, and I refuse to overindulge in self-pity for my oh-so-overwhelming course load of exams and papers. Sound good?... Okay, maybe next term!

I believe I did just fine on those exams junior year, and clearly, my career, happiness and life's worth were relatively unaffected by that one semester. Funny how the topics may change in my life, but most of my journals and other pieces of writing over the years revolve around memories and stress. I'm pretty sure a comprehensive look through this blog would find pretty much the same as prominent themes!

Well, that's it, for I believe that the rest of my college columns have been lost to time. Hopefully, my bloggy hiatus will come to an end tomorrow, and I believe I'll have some fabulous photos to share and stories to tell!

Coming to the end of memory lane,