are you ready?

This is one of the questions that I've been getting on a fairly regular basis from friends and acquaintances lately, as the big return-to-work-after-four-years-as-a-happy-homemaker day looms tomorrow. It's followed by the less frequently asked, and definitely more heartbreaking questions like, "What about your blog?" "So, you'll stop reviewing books now, right?" and "Guess that's it for all that writing stuff, huh?"

Sigh. Call me crazy, but I'm not giving anything up, and I'm hopeful that it will all settle into place somehow. Thanks to my incredible editor Jennifer, I'll still be on board at 5 Minutes for Books, though my contributions will decrease and probably focus much more on picture books. My weekly Patch column is usually written during the weekend anyway, and there's just no way I want to give up an actual paying writing gig. And with the upcoming official launch of The DC Moms, I'm hugely honored to be a part of a group of area women writers with a diverse set of interests, talents and experiences. As far as the blog, it's not going anywhere, because it's as big a part of me as anything else in my life.

So, am I ready?

Was I ready when I packed the big purple trunk and loaded it into the small U-Haul attached to the back of my parent's car to head off to college?

Was I ready as I held onto my dad's arm at the end of the brick path to a waiting about-to-be-lovely-hubby, looking hot in his tuxedo?

Was I ready when I went into labor with JAM, eleven years ago, not having any real clue how my world would change once that baby was outside of my body?

Was I ready in the middle of the night when Red decided it was time to make her appearance, or again when Pudge was ready for his whole ten pounds of self to join the family, only eight days after my due date?

Just like at each of those five points in my life, the answer for right now is once again... no. I'm not ready. How in the world can one be ready for the unknown? Sure, I worked full-time for a long time, but never as the parent of three kids. While I can make charts and lists until the cows come home, I can't plan for everything, so I imagine the coming weeks will be filled with starts and stops, hits and misses, and any other fitting cliche pairs.

But, ready, or not, here I come.