Paris, not the place for 1500 calories a day

(Alternatively titled: as seen on my plates in Paris)

Though I have spent all of 2017 uber-focused on trying to lose weight, counting and recording (just about) all of the food I put in my mouth (almost) every day, when we flew off to Paris, I left those practices at home. I prepared myself for a little weight gain, and I figured I'd just handle it when we returned by kickstarting it all again, and I would have *zero* guilt about any of it.

And that is how Operation Eat All the Cheese in Paris was born.

Actually, that mission could have included many names of foods- croissants and baguettes especially. What I'm trying to say here is that this post is going to be analogous to one long Twitter page belonging to a wannabe hipster foodie type person, annoying as that may be. But, I took a ton of pictures of the foods that I was putting in my mouth, and there was a lot of it. We ate at several sidewalk cafes, several in the 4th and 11th arrondissements, as that was where our apartment was located and where we ended each night between 10 and midnight, often still not having eaten dinner. Being a tourist is a long day job! But during the day, we stopped at crepe shops, the best ice cream shop in the world, and cafes whenever we needed a little noshing.

Spoiler alert- I gained weight. A whopping TWO POUNDS. Hell yeah. I can apparently eat like a muthaeffing machine if I also walk over 12 miles a day. I'm gonna remember that.

To the drool-inducing pictures...

Our first taste of Paris was this chocolate croissant from the boulangerie around the corner from our apartment that we ate while taking in the neighborhood the afternoon we got there. Perfection.

The first of several (ahem!) orders of trois fromage. I heart France because it's socially acceptable to order a plate of cheese and bread as a meal. 

White chocolate glace for me and some fruity kind of sorbet for the gentleman from my new favorite place in Paris, Berthillon in Île Saint-Louis. Trust me, you want to go to there.

I took this pic primarily to show the children, because cereal in another country is highly entertaining!

Okay, I gotta say that I was a bit surprised by the Activia yogurt in France. Rhubarb? Prune? My picky palate was thankful that they had plain old vanilla, though I was pleasantly pleased by the pudding nature of it.

Chocolate mousse, I'll never forget you. You macaroon over in the corner, sorry man, I tried, but coconut is gross.
(A million bonus points to anyone who can name the movie I quoted there!)

This adorably goofy man went out almost every morning to buy us fresh croissants to eat with our eggs. Love. Him.

Sometimes you stay out so late that food establishments are closed and you buy food in a small bodega-like store and eat fruit,  breadsticks, meat, and cheese for dinner long after the sun has gone down.

And other times, you call a Nutella crepe breakfast. NO RULES EXIST ON VACATION IN PARIS.

And then you pose goofily in the street with said crepe, because... Americans. 

I can't believe that the shop windows weren't covered in noseprints and drool drips. Seriously, these shops were everywhere and they all looked amazing.

A brand after my own heart. I love you, too, ham. 

I believe we should all begin referring to hot dogs as knacks starting from this moment.

Even in France, you can buy wine in a box. 

Grocery shopping for just the two of us was insanely easy, especially when all we really needed was wine, meat, and cheese.

Oh yeah, and Oreos. Because, again, Americans. But, no giant packs here, because apparently there's such a thing as moderation in France.

When in France, right? At La fée verte, we had the friendliest and goofiest server who helped us choose two different kinds of absinthe to try. She was awesome, the food was fantastic, and the absinthe was... interesting. :)

Trois fromage, s'il vous plaît et merci beaucoup.

Other countries could learn from France about the appropriate amount of respect due to Nutella, along with ease of access. 

Jus de pamplemousse is fun to say and delicious to drink. When I was just too tired, hot, and thirsty for wine, grapefruit juice was mon ami.

Even pizza in Paris was damn delicious. Especially at midnight at a cafe at the Bastille.

Our walking tour guide told us that the best crepes in the city would be found at AuP'tit Grec, and I'm willing to bet he was right. This guy was super friendly and forgiving of our lack of French, and he made a perfectly delicious banana Nutella crepe for my afternoon snack/lunch. (Swallow your judgements.)

Honestly, couldn't you just crawl into this and die happy?

Lest you think we didn't consume anything healthy, be assured that the strawberries I ate in Paris were the best I've ever had. Tiny, barely noticeable seeds, juicy beyond belief. Délicieux! 

Since Hubby got a savory crepe and not a dessert one for his lunch, a little later, he opted for one of these decadent chocolate ball things. All I needed was one bite to know that it was heaven on a spoon.

We didn't buy any of these, but they were absolutely gorgeous. 

This granola/cereal was perfect for snacking on while we toured the city for hours on end. 

I have no idea if this is high quality cheese or the cheapest one you can find, but I do know for sure that I would eat a tub of it every single day if I could. 

One night, Hubby sought out some Asian food and though I wasn't a big fan of the pork meatballs, the meat and cheese on a stick was exactly perfect for me. Shocking, I know. 

More jus de pamplemousse for me, while Hubby opted for a beer, at Restaurant ancien Hôtel Baudy, an incredible restaurant in Giverny with a  cool history. Take a virtual visit! 

Trois, Six, Neuf, Douze fromage? Who's keeping count? 

Our last night in Paris saw us eating all of our leftovers, plus a few new bottles of wine while sitting on the bank of the Seine. Bittersweet, I tell ya.

Say fromage!

No, YOU ate a bazillion eggs and croissants in a week. Whatever.

Whatever this macaroni and veggie thing was care of Air France was a more than slightly disappointing way to say goodbye to vacation. I still ate about half of it though.
(And don't mind the pixelated lady to my right, also known as The Tiny Woman Who Didn't Stop Moving or Elbowing Me for Eight Hours Straight, she seemed to enjoy her food just fine.)

Since our return almost two weeks ago, I've been gradually climbing back on the calorie counting wagon, but I miss cheese so, so damn much, no doubt.

Bon appétit!