I can't hear a thing... because I've stopped listening

photo credit: Lucas Insight from Pexels 

I admit it. Yes, I do indeed live in a bit of a social media bubble. And when I say a bit of, what I mean is that the content shared in my social media feeds is about 99.99% liberal and progressive. I'm not talking about the news sources I follow, which tend to rank fairly non-partisan, but specifically about the people with whom I choose to surround myself in my interweb world.

And I'm not ashamed of it in the least.

Recently, I had a conversation with my children about respecting people who have opposing opinions from one's own, and I emphasized to them that it's okay to have your own personal 'lines' which you're unwilling to cross in order to respect someone else's viewpoint. My daughter has developed an intense interest in the Holocaust and that time period, and she's read numerous books in recent months that show the viewpoint of children and adults in concentration camps. She is horrified that there was a movement to murder an entire group of people based on their identity as Jewish people. So, it was easy for her to understand when I said that I don't think it's necessary for me to respect someone's opinion that white people are superior to Jewish people or black people. That crosses one of my lines.

Unsurprisingly, I've got several lines these days. If you don't believe that LGBTQ+ individuals deserve the same civil and legal rights and protections as non-LGBTQ+ individuals, then I do not respect your opinion. I don't care if you think homosexuality is a sin. Honestly, then I just feel bad for you that you're so caught up in a belief system that can't recognize reality. But if you take your personal religious belief and transcribe it to civil rights, then you do not deserve my respect. That crosses a line for me.

If you don't think that men, women, and any other gender-identified person are inherently equal in our humanity and deserve equal treatment, then you do not deserve my respect. You've crossed one of my lines.

If you don't believe that racism is alive and thriving in our society today, then I don't know why I need to listen to your 'opinion' on how people of color should act when a police officer pulls them over for a traffic violation or on why "all lives matter" is a meaningful response to the Black Lives Matter movement. Your opinion denies our country's reality-- from its beginning that was steeped in ethnic cleansing, through its growth and prosperity made possible on the backs of people of color, all the way to its current criminal justice system that is overwhelmingly skewed toward the continued oppression of people of color. I feel zero necessity to respect your opinion because it crosses way the fuck over one of my lines.

When I choose the folks with whom I want to interact when I tool around on Facebook, those lines are important because I have no desire to spend time listening to views that cross them. This is definitely different than simply unfriending anyone with whom I disagree or anyone who has a different background or basic belief system as me.

A friend from college posted the other day that he didn't want to see any more memes shared that mocked the Parkland, FL, students who have become ardent activists for gun control. You know, the very same students who lived through a massacre. Who watched their peers bleed to death. Who lived through moments of fear that are unimaginable to anyone who hasn't experienced something life-threatening in this way. WHO THE FUCK WOULD MOCK THESE STUDENTS?!

Are people entitled to different opinions about the need for stronger gun control laws in our country? Of course. But how does that turn into creating and sharing photos that further victimize these teenagers?

My line is so ridiculously far back, it's freaking impossible to see at that point.

Then I realized that I hadn't seen any memes like this on my feed, reinforcing the status of my social media bubble, but also leaving me with a sense of relief. It's not that I don't know these harmful, hateful 'opinions' and behaviors are out there; it's simply a choice I'm making to not have them included in this sphere of mine.

Another Facebook friend has been commenting on articles from very far-right, conservative sites in recent days, specifically in response to the #MarchForOurLives events held this past weekend. His comments have been rational, logical, and not emotionally fueled in the least. Though I don't subscribe to those pages, these posts have appeared in my timeline because my friend was leaving comments, and as I scrolled through and saw the headlines and others' comments, I realized my heart was racing and I was feeling sick to my stomach. My lines were being crossed again and again in these headlines and comments. These 'opinions' deserve exactly none of my respect, so I feel no need to read any of them.

I try to stay up-to-date with current events, I try to be an informed voter. I try to talk regularly with my children, at their respective levels, about the issues that are important to me and are having an impact on our lives right now. I respect dissent, and I know that not everyone is going to ever agree on all issues.

But I've got my lines, and if you're crossing them, I'm simply not listening to a word you say.


Title inspiration: "Bull in a China Shop" by Barenaked Ladies