summer, it turns me upside down

We're in our final week of summer, which for us is traditionally defined as the break the children have between school years. While there are several more weeks until the meteorological calendar flips to a new season, the atmospheric changes begin in our family as soon as the school supplies get transported by backpacks and the homework starts coming back in the afternoons. This will begin in six days.

I've been walking around for the last few days with what I can only describe as a weight on my chest. There have been a variety of mental weights that have actually been lifted in recent weeks, so I've been a bit stymied by this general feeling of impending doom. Okay, doom might be coming on a bit too strong for what I'm actually feeling.

There's just a heaviness in my spirit right now, and I think it represents all my apprehension in the face of transition. I'm trying to talk myself through it all, because the changes that are on the horizon aren't necessarily huge ones, nor are they first-time changes. But somehow, they feel bigger this time around.

The transition from the carefree feeling of summer into the more orderly and organized tone of the school year is one that I would think would only be welcomed by my routine-loving brain, but somehow I find myself already wistful for lazy mornings, even if it was only the kids who could sit around in their pajamas while Hubby and I prepped for our respective workdays. Even though it was only the children who had a true "summer break," there were plenty of aspects of life for the entire family that slowed down in the summer.

What will I miss, exactly?
Late afternoon trips to the pool, something that, in hindsight, I wish we had done more often.
Leisurely family dinners eaten while watching episodes of Jeopardy! on the DVR. (That's right, I'm publicly admitting to us all eating in front of the television. For shame!)
Family trips that had been on the calendar and gleefully imagined for months and months.
Gigantic sunflowers growing by the kitchen window.
Hummingbird sightings by the feeders.
Photographing the flurry of interesting insects and spiders that appear in the warmth of the season.
Porch and patio sitting, squinting in the sun and reveling in the shade of an umbrella.
Evenings with the family that weren't rushed by strict bedtimes, homework or projects, or assigned reading minutes.

Regardless of how I may struggle with the metaphorical weight on my chest, I will prepare for the flood of paperwork that'll be coming home in the next few weeks demanding completion. I will manage all the calendar updates to reflect "Back to School" nights and PTO meetings, along with doling out the cheerleading and encouragement the children will need as they manage their own transitions back into the school year and the requirements of behavior and attention adaptations.

Summer, how do I love thee? Even though you cause me to sweat at socially inappropriate levels, and you force me to constantly search for even a patch of shade at any outdoor event, I gotta say, I freaking adore you. You allow for a special mindset that is absent the rest of the year, and with that mindset comes a general feeling of relaxation that is branded with summer.

I will miss you dearly.

There's a reason Shakespeare chose a summer's day with which to compare his love. Lovely and temperate can be so damn true, but he hit the nail on the head with this assessment:

"And summer's lease hath all too short a date."

You said it, Bill. Too short a date, indeed.



Title inspiration: "Magic" by The Cars