you want a re(v/s)olution, I want a revelation

Eyes up.

It's that time of year, the time when we imagine what we could be if only we... ate healthier, exercised more, meditated regularly, did all the things that people do who have it all together. I am not one of those people, yet too often, when the new year is upon me, I make declarations of the changes I'm going to bring to my life. I focus on my shortcomings and flaws-- my constant fluctuating weight and maybe-related adoration of sweets, my hit or miss skin care regiment, my avoidance of exercise. There are many, many areas in which I have room for improvement.

Now, there's nothing wrong with self-improvement, certainly. But, in the dark and cold of winter, it's just too easy to get sucked down into the rabbit hole of creating a long list of all the things that are wrong with me right now. It's easy, and it's dangerous, because it's a hole that can just get deeper and deeper, without end.

Honestly, it's time for something different. Forget the resolutions, let's embrace some revelations.

I have all that I need. And more.
How lucky I am to be alive right now and right here. There is so, so, so much wrong in this damn world and in our country, but there is also so much that is right. It can be terribly difficult to reconcile those two statements as both true and worthy, but there you are. We need to revel in the good in our lives and spread it like wildfire.

Love is all around me, I just need to keep my eyes open.
Almost twenty-five years ago, a tall, lanky guy walked into my life and nothing was ever the same. And the love that he shows me every day would be enough for a dozen lifetimes, but I can't forget to acknowledge all the other sources of love in my life. My children and family, near and far. My dogs, just about always near. My friends, regardless of how often I see them. I have a surplus of love in my life and that is a revelation that I need to have each and every day.

We have more power than we realize.
I may not be able to change the world, but I have been influencing three individuals for every day of their lives so far, and that has to count for something. Even discounting all the mistakes I've made, of which there are undoubtedly many, there are still countless ways that I've been able to pass along the things that matter-- how to treat others, how to stand up to injustice, how to be a good person for the sake of being good-- and those three kids are three more people in this world who put those values into action and influence even more people on their own. What a thing to remember!

Selfies are awesome. There, I said it.
I do love me a good selfie. I like being able to check my position to minimize the number of visible chins, sure, but I also love the documentation aspect of it. I was here. I was happy right here in this moment. I love to take selfies with my kids, one-on-one or with the whole lot of them. Seeing their faces right next to mine, all close up, I'm immediately reminded of the fact that I helped create these human beings and that they have parts of them that look just like me. It's overwhelmingly awesome.

Sometimes we do our best, and we still don't succeed. And that's okay.
It's been a challenging autumn on a couple of fronts, and I've wallowed in misery a lot at the ways in which I've failed. I've been trying, truly trying and giving it my all, but I've still not found success. That's life. You can't always get what you want, right?

Wise up. Eyes up.
Okay, if a resolution is necessary, we could all make a collective one to bring more awareness into our lives. Awareness of our privilege. Awareness of our surroundings. Awareness of the people in our lives. Awareness of this incredible world we get to inhabit. Awareness, it is.


Title inspiration: "The Schuyler Sisters" by Lin-Manuel Miranda