the article that could have been sub-titled "Duh"

The NY Times has been making its way into my facebook feed or twitterbox (or whatever you call it) recently thanks to the fact that I have lots of friends who are moms/book-lovers/educators/people-who-generally-care-about-kids, and the NYT has been on a hot streak in recent months with articles folks like my friends and me get excited about.  This latest article, "Effort to Restore Children's Play Gains Momentum," by Hilary Stout (online on 1/5/11 and in the print edition on 1/6/11), had me simultaneously shaking my head (up and down) in agreement with the fact that kids today simply need more opportunities for free play and shaking my head (side to side) in disbelief that we as a society have gotten to this point and need a fricking newspaper to tell us to let our kids go play. 

Why don't you head over to read it?  It's pretty short, and I'm trying to have more patience in the new year, so I'll wait, don't you worry.

Reading through, I identified with so much in the article-- yes, kindergarten classrooms today too often have little desks and a row of computers, but thankfully, it doesn't have to be that way, and there are alternatives for more hands-on, constructivist and play-based learning.  Unfortunately, that seems to be the norm for most public school kindergarten and elementary school settings.  My own son gets a whopping 15 minutes for recess each day, but that includes the time it takes to wrangle three classes of fifth graders down the hall and out the door as well as the lining up and return trip in.  (And of course, they have to do all of this in complete silence, so you can imagine that it's a bit of a hefty process.  Ugh.) 

Play?  That's not a part of my ten year old's day until after he comes home from school, but don't forget that he still has homework to do.  (Unless he got up early enough in the morning to get ready and have some time left over- then he's all over playing with his siblings, or taking out his Star Wars figures, or reading a book.)  We're really not big on extra activities with the kids, or at least not more than one at a time, because honestly, sometimes it's all we can do to get through a day that includes meals and reading a book.  (The two non-negotiable areas of nourishment.)  In the spring, JAM does play baseball, which requires a couple evening practices and games during the week, and usually a weekend day game, and during those weeks, I often feel exhausted from the time devoted to one activity.  During the school year, he has been playing the baritone horn since the beginning of 4th grade, and he should be practicing that on a daily basis for at least a little while, but that doesn't necessarily happen regularly. 

But when he is home, he has free reign to go play in our yard and adjacent little patch of trees, which he does with great abandon, utilizing ropes, sticks and various toys to build his imaginative play, or he hits the neighborhood playgrounds, or he plays ball with friends.  Red and Pudge have an immense amount of playtime, as they're home with me and not yet in a school program, but I still related to some of the challenges that were presented in the article, namely the parents' difficulty with mess-management, and the complexities of trying to get something done when children can't seem to occupy themselves with their own play.  This quoted part hit home:

“If he wants to play, he always wants me to play with him,” Ms. Paster said. “This child has a million toys. Every kind of train you can imagine. But he really wants a partner. If I’m meant to get anything accomplished — dinner, laundry, a phone call — then it’s really difficult.”


Encouraging brother and sister to play together only goes so far. “It seems like there’s a ticking time bomb,” Ms. Paster said. “Someone’s going to decide they’re done before the other one’s ready.” Sometimes, a video screen is the unwelcome but necessary alternative.

I hear ya, sister.  There are times when Red and Pudge get into a playing groove, and it's as if they forget that I'm even around.  They converse nicely, they play cooperatively, and it's awesome.  That's usually not the case when I have to call the insurance company because of a mistake on a claim, or when I have to prep dinner, or when I have seven loads of laundry calling my name.  I have to admit that I have built in a "show" time to each morning to allow me time to get my day's to do list in order and get my mind settled on a plan for the flow of the day.  Most days, this time is about 45 minutes- one show for each child from the DVR selection.  If it's one with commercials, I stay nearby to fast-forward through them.  If I need a little more time, I've been known, here and there, to give a bonus show to them, bringing that total time up to just over an hour, and then that's it for the day.  But I feel terribly guilty about it, each and every time.  (We're just talking weekday early mornings here... we won't go into the glut of early morning tv that the kids watch on a weekend morning when Mommy and Daddy are trying to get an extra hour of sleep... that's more guilt, too, don't worry.)

But two quotes from the article really shocked me, in relation to "screen time."

Children spend far too much time in front of a screen, educators and parents lament — 7 hours 38 minutes a day on average, according to a survey by the Kaiser Family Foundation last year.

and

An important part of the movement is teaching children themselves how to play. The average 3-year-old can pick up an iPhone and expertly scroll through the menu of apps, but how many 7-year-olds can organize a kickball game with the neighborhood kids?

What the what?!  How do kids even have 7 hours and 38 minutes a day to be in front of a screen??  JAM has some computer time at school most days, but certainly not a huge amount, and he doesn't watch TV during the week.  (Other than the few minutes of a ball game that might get turned on now and then in the time between Red and Pudge's bedtime and his later bedtime.)  Every once in a while, especially in the colder months, he'll get some Wii or DS time after homework is done, but that's about a 30-minute limit.  (He and the timer are well acquainted.)  Where in the hell would he find another seven hours in his day?  Do these kids not sleep?

And the second statement?  Well, that one just ticked me off.  Really?  Am I a complete Luddite and naive fool to believe that not every three-year-old has access to an iPhone?  My first thought went straight to a classist accusation, because honestly, the average preschooler?  I don't live in a McMansion-filled neighborhood or anything, but my circle of friends and acquaintances are well-educated, middle- to upper-middle-class folks, and I know a whole lot of young kids.  None of them are tooling away on iPhones at three.  I'm happy my three-year-old can get himself dressed, for goodness sake.  But it begs the question, why?  Why are smart people handing over their very expensive smartphones to the likes of folks who regularly spill cups of milk, occasionally pee in their pants, have a long track record of dropping things, and have a tendency toward unpredictable behavior?  My three year old regularly walks backwards into walls.  I swear that the kid bumps his head at least twelve times a day.  Would I hand over a piece of technology worth several hundreds of dollars to him, if I could in fact afford such a piece of technology?  Uh, that would be a hell to the no.

Okay, getting back on track.  While I wish we had more physical space in our little townhouse, for the time being this is where we live, and I try to make the most of storage and play space.  I recognize my hesitancy at times to allow the kids to make messes, but I'm trying to check it and be a little more flexible.  Playdough can get cleaned up (tediously, but it gets cleaned up), and blankets that were put to use on a fort can get refolded- I must remind myself of these things sometimes. 

Truly, the heart of the argument hit me in this quote, and I think it's important to point out that "childhood" doesn't just mean the very youngest of our kids.  Unfortunately, too many people look at elementary school kids and only see them as students, test-takers, future-whatevers, and forget that they are in the glory days of their childhood.  The days that should be filled with free time for exploration, outdoor experiences and the simplicity of play.

"Too little playtime may seem to rank far down on the list of society’s worries, but the scientists, psychologists, educators and others who are part of the play movement say that most of the social and intellectual skills one needs to succeed in life and work are first developed through childhood play. Children learn to control their impulses through games like Simon Says, play advocates believe, and they learn to solve problems, negotiate, think creatively and work as a team when they dig together in a sandbox or build a fort with sofa cushions. (The experts define play as a game or activity initiated and directed by children. So video games don’t count, they say, except perhaps ones that involve creating something, and neither, really, do the many educational toys that do things like sing the A B C’s with the push of a button.)"

Happy playing to you and yours,