Then along came 2020.
It's an understatement to say that 2020 was a year like no other. I think back to my mindset at this time last year with a chuckle. Awaiting the arrival of a new year has always filled me with excitement and a magical line of thinking that somehow the turn of a calendar page will bring about a kind of practical new beginning. The logical part of my brain knows it's no different than, say, October 2nd ending and October 3rd arriving, but it's the symbolism and tradition of it all.
And lord knows, I'm a sucker for tradition. It's basically why I'm sitting here for the 14th year in a row trying to figure out how to capture a year for this virtually untended old hobby of mine. That being said, it just doesn't feel right to follow the same format, for while there still were plenty of moments and experiences that I liked, laughed at, smiled about, or generally remember in a fond way from 2020, I'm thinking this unique year deserves a unique remembrance. Unique for this bloggy space, but totally not unique as a storytelling device, seeing as I completely stole it from one of my 2020 television obsessions.
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As a child, my mother would place a cabbage outside on our back step on New Year's Eve. I don't know the origins of this tradition for our family, only the vague declaration that it was "for good luck". In 2019, I was told that there actually is a tradition of kicking a head of cabbage into your home over the threshold on the first day of the year, symbolizing 'green' literally rolling into your home, an idea anyone could get behind. I'm a sucker for traditions, remember, but I'm happy to adjust if I've been doing it wrong all this time. And so, 2020 started off with a non-sporty, middle-aged mom kicking a head of cabbage directly into her house, hoping for a year of prosperity and good luck.
Our hopes were rewarded with another year of laughter and love, just like always, projectile cabbage or not. The kids stayed on their individual paths of self-discovery, and with three adolescents in the family, it meant sportsballs, schoolwork, practice runs of adulthood, ups and downs of friendships and relationships, and lots of moments too tender for public photographic evidence.
This year brought more travel than in years past, with two editions of Ladies' Weekends and a four-day Grown-Ups' Weekend getaway on the calendar before the new year even arrived. A couple trips to the beauty of western Maryland (and most importantly, the halfway point between new home and old home!), and some time in gorgeous West Virginia, detached from both areas' politics to simply hang with friends was exactly what I needed, spread out throughout the year to always have something to look forward to. Nothing can beat time away with dear friends spent in rental homes grander than our own, with walks in the woods, drink-fueled board games, and the amazing gift of time with no responsibilities.
While we're not a family that goes on extravagant vacations, our summers usually include a few regular experiences, and sometimes a few other special trips or weekend getaways. For the trips that happen every year, the planning is not terribly extensive, because we know when we go, where we stay, what we do while we're there, and when we shed some tears and say goodbye. For the special happenings, planning starts months before, and my need for locking down details early means that we have even more time to look forward to the fun. This summer saw us camping with friends and road-tripping back to Maryland for our fifth annual Labor Day Weekend extravaganza-- National Book Festival on Saturday so I can participate in sanctioned author/illustrator stalking, Greenbelt Labor Day Festival on Sunday for some reminiscing in our old hometown, and the entire weekend at our old pals' place where we eat from our fave restaurants (the GOOD Chinese take-out!) and fall back into our former routines with friends who have known us for seemingly forever.
Before all that summer travel, though, we were happy to celebrate two graduations- one from elementary school and one from middle school, as our two younger kids marked these special occasions with pride and happiness to wrap up another school year. Both will be navigating new buildings in the fall, and we'll be starting our last round with a middle schooler!
Another happy occasion that we were excited to take part in was my little cousin's wedding. A trip to Connecticut is one helluva drive, but it was worth it to be there watching her marry the man who has brought her so much happiness and love. My family is A LOT, but they're also HOME. To gather together for a joyous occasion was a nice change from last year's two funereal occasions, and I'm beyond thrilled for my cousin's new path.
What is hard to write about in detail because of the just everydayness of it are all the things we did this year that weren't necessarily special, but filled our days with activity and togetherness- watching as the kids served volleyballs, passed basketballs, shot arrows, sold cookies, gave school presentations, and rode the roller coaster of adolescence. Hubby continued reffing through the seasons, and I was thrilled to mark the one-year anniversary at my job, which was especially meaningful in the face of so many university "reorganizations," as they say.
I guess at the precipice of a new year, I never realistically expect T H E B E S T Y E A R E V E R, but I do anticipate, with a smile on my face, the fun experiences to come, especially the ones that bring us together with the multitudes of amazing loved ones who we're somehow lucky enough to have in our lives. That's how I was as the calendar turned to 2020, and I'm happy to say that for another year, I wasn't disappointed.
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As a child, my mother would place a cabbage outside on our back step on New Year's Eve. I don't know the origins of this tradition for our family, only the vague declaration that it was "for good luck". In 2019, I was told that there actually is a tradition of kicking a head of cabbage into your home over the threshold on the first day of the year, symbolizing 'green' literally rolling into your home, an idea anyone could get behind. I'm a sucker for traditions, remember, but I'm happy to adjust if I've been doing it wrong all this time. And so, 2020 started off with a non-sporty, middle-aged mom kicking a head of cabbage directly into her house, hoping for a year of prosperity and good luck.
That damn ball of greens almost didn't make it in the house, bouncing off the edge of the doorframe and looking like it was coming back at me for a quick second. Cross the threshold it did, though, and I thought we were in the clear.
<insert maniacal laughter here>
Well, 2020 was a year. I can't complain too much about it in general, honestly, because it needs to be stated from the get-go that we're swimming in pandemic privilege over here. Hubby already worked from home, and I was able to join him. We didn't suffer any losses in our housing or employment situations. All of our basic needs were met. Everything that I document here is noted with all this in mind. We definitely had changes, but we have been fortunate that none of these changes were life-threatening.
The year started off with the kids active and engaged in school and sports-- basketball season was in full-swing for the 8th grader, and the 6th grader's archery season was flying by. (See what I did there?) Both were having a blast. January through March is a busy time for a Girl Scout and a GS Leader, so that kept us on our toes, too. The kids were having a typical winter, and all was well.
January and February brought several amazingly fun hangouts with friends-- a Schitt's Creek viewing party complete with brilliant themed decorations made by a super-creative pal, an epic root beer taste test for a bestie's birthday, hosting more Harry Potter trivia nights at our friend's wine bar, an Ohio University basketball group outing, a party to honor the yearly advertising slots during some football game, and a restaurant birthday celebration for a friend with our whole crew in attendance. Little did we know what was on the horizon.
Living in a university town comes with some major perks, one of them being the opportunity to see touring shows, and we got two in before everything changed this year. The Color Purple was beyond amazing, and the teen and I took in the beauty that was The Choir of Man. See what I mean about the *beauty*?? This group of super talented musicians were entertaining AF and we didn't stop laughing and singing the entire time.
What would have been remembered as just another silly little shopping and taco outing with pals back in early March is now memorialized as several LASTS for 2020-- last time eating in a restaurant (minus one quick anxiety-filled stop in the fall that I'd rather NOT remember), last time strolling through a store mask-free having fun, last time simply having an old-normal outing.
The very next week saw the coming of what we eventually would call the new-normal. I began my first week of remote working (the first of 42 weeks so far!), and we had our very first group video chat in place of hanging out in person. We had our first "socially distanced" walk around the neighborhood with pals, shouting to each other from across a street as we walked together/apart. Front porch visits began here and there, with funny selfies with friends from at least six feet afar. I began to unwillingly grow out a pixie cut, seeing no other option when businesses were closed down, literally the day before my next scheduled appointment.
When I think about the next few months, they're a blur of Zoom/Teams/Messenger chats with friends and family both near and far (because near has become the same as far), baked goods, puzzles, House Party games, online school disasters, and the beginning of the Ultimate Quest of 2020: Finding the Perfect Mask. (This one is still on-going, but it took months to find ones that were comfortable!) But those video chats became a life-blood, especially with far-away family, since it was becoming clear that a visit wasn't going to happen. But that doesn't mean that I didn't go back and forth, back and forth, back and freaking forth for weeks and weeks, trying to figure out if we could safely visit my parents. In the end, we opted to wait until safer times... so we had to settle for making similar faces to each other over the interwebs instead of in person for this year. With no trips to CT, it meant watching my cousin's wedding over YouTube, another reason to be thankful for technology this year.
Thus began our year of staying home. Trips were canceled, and tears were shed. Sure, they were only short weekends away, but those losses hit me hard. For a while, it felt like all I could focus on-- all the things that were supposed to be happening, but weren't going to happen at all. As the weird last quarter of the kids' school year fizzled out, class trips were canceled, ceremonies were canceled, any social activities were canceled. We tried to make up in any way possible, including a Zoom graduation, just to bring a smile to the kids' faces.
Oh, those kids. To be an adolescent in 2020 was tough enough, and this year brought even more turbulence for our three. The details don't belong in this space, but when I look back over the last twelve months, it's amazing to me how very much they've each gone through and continue to deal with. They might each give a different assessment of the last year, but I can say that I am proud of all of their strengths.
Now, the traditional format of this post would have had me doing a sort of countdown of the year's highlights, and in thinking about putting it together, I thought there was no way I would have enough content in experiences and photos to make a meaningful piece, because #2020. But then I began to scroll through the photos and realized that while we kept socially distanced and stayed home for much of the year, we actually found lots of ways to do fun things outdoors with friends at a safe distance. We discovered that both backyard fires and camping trips are pandemic-friendly ways to get together, and we made the most of the fair weather this year. Who would have predicted that sleeping in tents in November would be feasible and not terribly uncomfortable? (Oh! And bonus of being all together for a camping weekend when the Associated Press called the election, on my birthday, no less!!) We even managed to fit in TWO days on a pontoon boat with pals, giving each family one side of the boat and plenty of space to move around in a lake. A walk in the woods has now become a perfect opportunity for a masked face-to-masked face conversation, and as much as I love sitting down, I'm all for a walk now just to see a friend in person. All I know is that I wouldn't have made it through this year without our amazing squad.
For as much as the world burned in 2020, I can selfishly look back and be thankful for the slower pace our family's life took starting in March. As our dry erase calendar had fewer and fewer entries, it translated to less time running from here to there and more time spent together. Sure, that could get tiring after a while-- and there were some tough moments this year-- but looking back, it's clear that many of our family experiences were the result of being forced to slow down and make the most of what we could do. Remarkably, we found plenty of things to do both at home and out in nature, where we didn't sacrifice any of our pandemic precautions. Walks in parks, walks in the neighborhood, walks by creeks, so many walks. Board games and movies and binge-watching TV. Family dinners, increasingly in front of the television, with Jeopardy! on the screen if it's my pick. Drive-in movie experiences. Five birthdays celebrated in this new-normal. Holidays at home, just the five of us with our trusty canine companions. Looking through photos, it's pretty amazing seeing everything that we did manage to fit into a pandemic year.
Even with all that said and shown, there still needs to be an honorable mentions list of memories, too:
- watching a mourning dove couple hatch and raise one squab and stick around for weeks
- witnessing a house finch family for a few short weeks until the babies fledged and they all moved on
- several Steven Page "Live at Home" streaming concerts
- experiencing Hamilton at home with the whole family and having emotions pour out of my face all over again
- acquiring a 30-gallon fish tank and watching as Hubby created a beautiful aquatic world in our living room, especially entertaining to Minny who hasn't given up on trying to eat the fish
- hand-writing 200 postcards to Florida voters encouraging them to get to the polls
- attending the National Book Festival from my home desk
- binge-watching SO MUCH TELEVISION and loving every minute of it-- Schitt's Creek, Umbrella Academy, and Derry Girls are all pure magic and gifts from the gods
- a one-night getaway with Hubby, just the two of us staying in a hotel room, eating take-out after hiking through the New River Gorge park
Seriously, this year was unlike any other, and I could write volumes about the anxiety and fear that I've experienced in unprecedented amounts these last 9 months. Our family has struggled with a lot this year, too, and I'm grateful that therapy easily transitions to a virtual environment. Even if we're all Zoomed out and wishing we could be sitting in friends' and families' living rooms for hangouts, how freaking lucky are we to have the technology that allowed for so much connection at a time when that was needed more than ever?
We may be giddily bidding 2020 a not-terribly-fond farewell with all our hope invested in 2021, but the truth is that not much is going to change for a while. Maybe our crew will receive covid-19 vaccines in 2021, but we're all so far down the priority list that I'm not holding my breath for it to happen anytime soon. Until then, we'll keep our masks on and our asses at home (or in the woods when the weather allows!), and if only more people would do the same, maybe 2021 can truly become the year of a return to something like the old-normal.
Here's to new beginnings, symbolic as they may be. We're still here, and that's a lot to say at the end of 2020.
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